their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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