i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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