umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my liver is dry heaving
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
