i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
