Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
last night I used snow as a chaser
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