I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
