Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
