its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
