whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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