If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
