jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
