ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
