god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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