her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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