The maid of honor just puked.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize