Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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