yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
