You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
