i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
