your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize