ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
