there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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