i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
