i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
