Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
