He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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