i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
