I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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