i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
