Banned from zoo.
Again?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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