Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
