I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
