you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
