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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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• (845): View more from New York

  You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.

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• (415): View more from California

  It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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• (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw

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• (415): View more from California

  I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ew.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  It takes talent let's just say that

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