non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
