I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The air taste purple.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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