We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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