so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
