Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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