This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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