Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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