you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
