i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
