Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
