I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
