There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
