WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
