it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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