It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You pole danced in your parka.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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