made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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