Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize