spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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