Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
