its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
