Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
