I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
