we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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