I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
