So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
