I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
