Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you made out with another girl for some wings
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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