The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
